#Post alpha bits cereal serial#

#Post alpha bits cereal serial#

I may be a kid at heart, but that inner child is aged roughly 8–10, not the 4-year old serial cereal drooler who appears to be the target audience of Alpha-Bits’ young’n-friendly packaging.Įven though I always chose totally mature, grown-up cereals like Cookie Crisp and Reese’s Puffs over Alpha-Bits, I still heard the recent public outcry about Alpha-Bits tasting terrible compared to its pre-Y2K flavor formula. In all honesty, I haven’t tasted Alpha-Bits in years.

As a designated cereal emissary of the year 2017, I’m here to tell you whether Alpha-Bits actually followed through on their “new year, new me” promise, or if they’re just “new meh.”īut in order to answer this, I first have to dive into some “old” Alpha-Bits, which are still easy to find on shelves. This revamped cereal revolution all started in 2017, as Cocoa Puffs, Krave, Honeycomb, and yes, Alpha-Bits, made a big hullaballoo about self-improvement. Some also say that spiking a drop of blood into your morning bowl of Alpha-Bits will make them reveal the universe’s existential secrets. Cinnamon Toast Crunch just contains packets of wheat seeds, yeast, and cinnamon, with instructions for growing, harvesting, and baking your own miniature cinnamon toast.Īs for Alpha-Bits? They now contain the letters of every alphabet, from English and Cyrillic to Egyptian hieroglyphics, Klingon, and whatever language the Bionicles spoke. Waffle Crisp is now just a box full of freeze-dried Belgian waffles-and the bag is made of intelligent, gelatinous maple syrup that can gain sentience when stored in certain climates.

Instead, every old brand keeps releasing “New and Improved” versions that buff their old selves with unnecessary flavor and cosmetic improvements.įroot Loops now contains “100% more Froot Jooce” and comes in colors only visible to the hyper-photoreceptive mantis shrimp.